Sayonara 2013

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2013 could not have ended at a better time, I was so happy to kiss it goodbye.  It was definitely what I thought of as the year of change, however the more I grow into 2014, I’m realizing this will ultimately be a year of change as well.  It wasn’t until the night before New Year’s Eve, when I was talking with my boyfriend about another year we shared, that I realized how much change really happened in 2013.

  • My grandfather fell very ill late 2012 and once March 2013 came along, God took him from us.
  • The summer rolled in and I was working, for the first time, 40-hour work weeks and had my first taste of the real world…and wasn’t very fond of it.
  • The summer came to an end when my family was hit with something unpredictable that caused us to question our every day.
  • Senior year of college started up in the fall and I quickly realized how little I saw my best friend all summer and how much she not only changed but ripped me out of her life.
  • And then, on December 30th, I received an e-mail from EMC extending me my dream job offer…a little hallelujah!

I don’t want to fall into the same pattern or routine that took over 2013. I don’t’ want to lose another person so prominent in my life.  I don’t want to drive to work every morning thinking, “I just have to get to through the day”.  I don’t want my family to be challenged the way we were.  I don’t want to lose another friend.  The e-mail on December 30th was my sign from Poppy and God that yes this year was extremely challenging, and yes it came with a lot of change, but I was strong enough to get through it and worked hard enough that I could end 2013 on a good note and start 2014 right.  It was my little saving grace, my little push to say I am not going to have to face the same pattern or routine I did in 2013.

From 2013 I learned many things.  I learned how to say goodbye to a loved one and be content with it.  I learned that when it comes to a job, always look at how happy you are before the salary-because no dollar amount can bring passion to a 40-hour work week.  I learned that family always comes first and they are also the most “un-judging”, loving, and trustworthy people you can have in your life.  I learned that people will come and go in your life but to never feel stupid for missing them.  I also learned that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel if you keep your head held high.

I am going to take everything I learned and carry it with me into 2014, because this year too will be full of change.  For starters, it is the beginning of the end of college.  Sink my head into my pillow and cue the tears.  Damn, why does it have to end?  Well that’s the first major change-graduating college.  Next, I’ll be moving out.  I can’t help but fill up with tears every time I think about this.  Don’t get me wrong, I want to move out because college has brought out my independence and I’m ready to take it with full reigns.  However, I won’t be able to crawl into my mom’s bed or on her floor when a nightmare or thunderstorm keeps me up, I won’t be able to run down to my grandma’s to escape any chores upstairs, and I won’t be able to live for free.  Next, I’ll be starting my professional career.  I will be a Marketing Development Associate with EMC working full-time.  I am SO excited for this but of course so nervous that this is truly my first test at life all on my own.  I am very determined to make my first step in my career an extremely positive and impactful one, but those jitters I used to get before performing on stage are somehow still surfacing.  Lastly, the last major change, will be my boyfriend and I transitioning from a “see you in five minutes…lunch date?…library date tonight?…I’m running over quick to borrow your book…night, see ya in the morning!” to a “okay, what weekends can we see each other in the next two months?”  Long distance relationship at its finest.  This is probably the one I am most afraid of.  Not afraid in a, “we aren’t going to make it, crap” kind of way but more of “I sure ain’t used to this” step out 600-miles of our comfort zone.  Thank God I’m dating my best friend or it would kind of suck.large-2

So am I ready for 2014?  I guess I kind of have to be since I’m already 8 days deep.  But the true answer is no.  But I don’t think you’re ever truly prepared for anything, everything is a sink or swim situation.  The only difference is that sometimes you put down your feet and realize you’re in 1.5 feet of shallow water, and other times you put down your feet to realize you’re sinking 15 feet below the surface.

I’m ready to swim.

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